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Reasons for Parents to Host a Mourning Party

February 27, 2013

What do you do when a kid does the wrong thing or starts getting involved in something that he shouldn’t? The question may certainly mean different things. But it implies a conflict of interest between parents and their child.

Don’t read that kids who do these things must be bad by any means. Rights apply to kids, and often kids would tend to pick up on any unfairness when adults engage in something restricted to minors. Trial and error would suggest any such activity to be more likely curiosity than getting oneself into trouble. But if as a parent, it would be something of a personal nightmare if a child were to develop interest in this sort of thing prior to reaching eighteen.

A party for mourning without casualty

Why not host a mourning party on behalf of the kid and invite family and anyone else whom you know who shares similar concerns? The saddest thing about mourning were that mourning alone probably won’t accomplish anything. People today probably have  lot more reasons to mourn for social reasons rather than for purely personal ones. So why not consider what form a mourning party would be in?

The most sensible reason to call people together in the first place would be for such purpose of sharing and exchanging stories or advice. And people tend to be at their best when called to any sort of gala or occasion, even if it’s not a celebration. Consider instead that it could be a celebration of civil achievement, that everyone brought together has had some share of grounding in social problems and why let these experiences go to waste? Technically a more dynamic social interest expresses a certain flair for the democratic aspect of society. Other people make the rules, and the laws explain where the known trouble lies. Don’t worry about conflicting over issues here; this were the “here and now” aspect that has the laws already sitting on the table.

Parents awaken to unplanned decisions

Thus bringing us to the more febrile issue at hand, being the corruption of a child or the difficulty involved in relaying the child on through life.

When an underage kid gets involved with unsavory social ills such as tobacco and possibly alcohol, or begins taking pills or whatever were available, chances are that this fact were due to the fact of not getting enough gratification out of life in general. Minors should be getting gratification, at least ideally, out of prospects such as health education, physical fitness, and extracurricular activities both academic such as sports or clubs, and hobbies such as playing in a band. Adding tobacco into the picture isn’t anything of a pleasant proposition. Likewise with alcohol. Adults can be expected to discipline themselves and reserve these activities for unrestricted areas. But for a kid, discipline of this order probably takes on a greater appearance of recreation. Time away from parents means freedom in no uncertain terms — and opportunity to get involved in anything that were worth doing. And association of “recreational substances” tends to go toward such idea of escaping from parents as well. There may also be nightmares about the kid burning the house down. So — what better occasion to mourn?

Accouterments for the party

Thinking that such a sour occasion shouldn’t be reflected in whatever food were served, consider topping the party off with a chocolate cake and cocoa icing with licorice. Directing the food to relate to mourning in some distinctive way shouldn’t fool anyone but certainly should make the occasion a memorable one. Likewise, any holiday type of event such as Halloween can be turned into a mourning party for adults by excluding the kid from any plans. Celebrated early, it may also be a good occasion to consult anyone about the kid’s own Halloween party. One possible means to mollify  yourself about the kid’s choice could be to offer more social opportunities, and hosting a party can accomplish this purpose.

If hosting the party via catering, it could be a good time to deviate from the common menu and order the grilled chicken from the crispy fried chicken place, the Alfredo pizza, the stuffed mushrooms, or the pasta with capers or calamari.

Alternately, serving the main and side courses of food to look distressed could be an effective strategy. Dye your potato salad blue, or light-orange if it must look edible.

Serve any meat thoroughly pounded with a meat tenderizing hammer. Perhaps serve oysters or stuffed crab. Reserve some ruffled seashells in advance of the meal to wear or color with non-toxic pigment and decorate the food.  Serve salad with red lettuce leaves and spinach. Add chopped dried figs to your fruit salad and omit the carrot or use a white carrot from the garden (their originally known color).

Serve yellow beans instead of green ones. Sow tiny chunks of parsnips or turnips in with your mashed potatoes. Opt for Romanesco broccoli instead of common broccoli or cauliflower, or serve artichoke in dip or as a side dish. Any food that grows in spears or pointy edges isn’t a bad choice. Asparagus isn’t a bad idea either.

If you know of a food with a special appearance such as Black Calypso beans, a type of kidney bean that resembles the yin-yang “Tao” of opposing energies, chances are you can find it online without mortgaging your house to see it served. For dessert, star fruit offers a pointy pattern when sliced (note: don’t serve any star fruit concoction to kidney patients). Serving sour grapes is not a bad dessert option, either.
Of stylizing food for a mourning party, much could be said. These are just some ideas to christen any thought on the matter.

Dare to be different to sink home the fact of your anguish, but don’t make the food unpalatable, as your guests may never forgive your taste in parties!

What to wear

Black is always fashionable, with the side benefit of hi-lighting any colorful thing that you may choose to wear.

Otherwise, aim to dress to contrast how you feel with the issue that you have brought everyone together for.  Women, consider wearing a black sweater with pink or fuchsia fringes.

Wear boots to show that you are not taking the matter sitting down.

Topics such as this can be strenuous, so even if you become emotional and decide you don’t want to discuss it or leave it to your significant other, you’ll still have the party and food to fall back on and simply tend the comfort of your guests.


One thing for sure, given the ever-stranger outbreaks of violence in cities and notable places today, something must be done. When kids commit suicide, or when people commit bizarre acts of brutality or killing, it’s time to do something different and at least make a mark that shows anyone that there were efforts being made that are not more of the same. Perhaps more people simply need a way to visualize that social changes around them are not representative of stagnation and social decay.

So, break from the blase and apathetic and take up a tact when the wrong straw breaks. Show people that you are attentive and sensitive to the civil aspect of society and don’t settle for being disappointed or left to suffer any doubts alone.


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